Memories and Determination
by HenryDashwood
Summary: The Doctor and Martha see a flashback of the Time War. The Doctor remembers the pain. Martha realizes how much Rose means to the Doctor, she starts to feel like she needs to be there...Review this please. This took a lot of time and effort.


**Say It Isn't So**

Doctor Who

Pairings: Ten/Rose, Damon/Rose, Damon/Ten

Set: Past DD (Doomsday - I hated this epi).

Plot: The Doctor and Rose, got together. She was pregnant, she had his son Damon. Doomsday he was three, he was taken away from his son. The Doctor's hearts are aching for both Rose and Damon - Martha just thinks it's all Rose and tries to get him to forget. Can he? Doctor's POV.

POV Doctor:

I wasn't the man anyone expected me to be anymore, I was evil, I missed them both so much. I knew it would've been years or even over 10 years that I've seen Rose, not to mention my son. My handsome little boy, who'd be not so little anymore. I needed to stop thinking about this, but it wasn't ever easy. That's why I shouldn't have gotten with her, no matter how much I wanted to be. It always ends in heart break, I'm done. No more caring, why should I? Not like I have too. I'm alien, bound to never understand why I feel so human.

Martha was watching me, intently. Boring, _Why keep watching? You're not gonna get an answer to your question _"What?"

"You're thinking. About this Rose girl?" asked Martha.

_This Rose girl is someone special stop talking like that about her._ "I'm allowed to think. So, where'd you want to go?" _Back to canary warf to save them! But that's impossible, you can't think like that!_

"I don't know anywhere you want to go, at least something new. Or something you feel comfort in." _In Rose's arms, thats where I want to be._

_[ALL POV - I can't write in 1st person much]_

"I don't know, suppose we could go to Valince, a pretty peaceful place. Lets you relax, the toxons in the air, help you." told the Doctor. Martha smiled.

"Let's go there then!" beamed Martha. The Doctor grinned widly. He pressed all the buttons. They arrived soon after. He knew very well that it would show memories of the saddest persons past. So he tried to put on a brave face. He and Martha were now lying on the beach.

A flicker of an image came in the sky, of a battle. Daleks and these people. Martha watched on, and then looked at the Doctor Who looked completely shocked.

"Whos past is it Doctor?" asked Martha as there were people here as well.

"It's the Time War, it's my memory," told the Doctor. His voice so quiet. Martha tried to comfort him, but he wouldn't allow it, he moved a bit away. Martha knew he wanted to be left alone for the memory but she would stay there just in case he did even dare to speak.

The Doctor watched the memory, so much pain so much loss running through him. It was now up to him blowing the planet up, he could hear the screams. See them burn, smell the debris burning. He had, had enough. He wanted it to change memories. To someone else's. People were looking around, wondering whos memory this was. Because they knew it was Time Lords, the pompous race who never intervened, so afraid of change. Kept the same order, only intervened when they deemed fit. One had wondered if it was him, he noticed a few pointing. But he really couldn't be assed to know if they actually noticed it.

New memories of Martha's life began to show now, she gaped this was at a rough time in her childhood something she would've loved to forget. She just got up and ran, everyone knew it was her then and the memory faded once she left the beach. "You okay?" the Doctor said running up behind her.

"Yeah, I just didn't expect that, that's all," told Martha.

"I forgot, I should have warned you. To close some doors you don't want people too see, I didn't want people to see what they saw of me, that's too painful. It looks for the pain, and most of the main pain source and it feeds off it. It's been scientifically proven that it helps. Helps you through it. I wouldn't have brought you here, if I knew you had a terrible past," told the Doctor.

"Everyone has a painful past, yours is much worse. I'm sorry, Doctor. For you I really am," told Martha. She noticed the Doctor tense up and his expression draw to an end, he looked like the normal closed off man he is.

"You wouldn't understand, no one did. Sarah-Jane didn't when I told her, you wouldn't, Donna didn't. Jack kind of, Rose she did. She _always_ understood," told The Doctor heading back to his ship. People were noticing them and followed a bit. He entered the ship and everyone knew he was the Time Lord then, the last one in existence.

Martha now understood, the Doctor was full of hurt and pain and that it wasn't just Rose. It was for what he did to his planet, and he lost the one he talks to most about it. She felt selfish, for trying to make him love her the way he loves Rose. That wouldn't happen, Rose understood him more than she realized she ever could. Rose helped him, he was an angy man without her here. That's when Martha realized she would sacrifice herself in a heartbeat to bring Rose back to The Doctor, who was Rose's Doctor. Who had given so much of himself to one person to have her teared away from him, he was a heartbroken man. Martha realized his hearts would never be healed. But those cracks were at least mended while Rose was here. She would find a way to get her back, even if it killed her. She didn't want the Doctor to be alone, and sad. Martha Jones, set out in secrecy reading books to find a way to bring Rose Tyler Back to the Doctor, again, even if it killed her.

**Finished.**


End file.
